You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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