Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
