god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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