went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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