Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
