Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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