Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
