Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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