i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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