Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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