you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
