It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
