Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
