just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize