She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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