Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
