We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book