Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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