this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dating After Heartbreak
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt