dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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