It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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