is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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