Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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