She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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