Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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