he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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