How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
