Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
