Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
