Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
