At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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