that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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