did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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