mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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