He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
