He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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