Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
