dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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