Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
