gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
