I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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