i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
