Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
