Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
