possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
