i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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