tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
