I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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