dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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