After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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