So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
barbara walters just said penis...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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