so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
