I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
