The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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