Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The best revenge is premature balding
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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