if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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