Yo dont text me then not text me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
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I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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