you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
