'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
