dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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