Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
