i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
