My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
