I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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