I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can I color on your dick again?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
