Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize