I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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