U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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