remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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