It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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