Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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