I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
